i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
