By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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