somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
