I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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