grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
