and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
