Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
