just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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