Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
