There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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