i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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