shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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