Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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