since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
