Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just saw a hot homeless man
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
