I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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