she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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