You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
