were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
