could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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