ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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