Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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