What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Randomize
