yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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