Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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