The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
