Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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