I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
