If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
