Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
