He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
