she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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