So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
