I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize