The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
