I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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