Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I supernannyed him into submission
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
