Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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