Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
