dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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