yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
