Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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