i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What a dumb baby whore.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
