i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
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They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
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You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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