He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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