Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
are you so shy because you have an std?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
