i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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