Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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