Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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