Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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