Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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