Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
