I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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