Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
