I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
