The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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