you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
