She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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