areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
