oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
