Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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