Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
