Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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