is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
