I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
zippers are such a cool invention
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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