it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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