You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
