I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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