I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
try to milk me bitch
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