that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
