Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
