Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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