had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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