Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize